I'm Asian, and I'm beautiful

But everyone wants to look white 

     The night of the Guardians of the Galaxy midnight premiere, my white friend and I were having a heated conversation about "white privilege" in the media. She was basically arguing the notion that everyone wants to look white.

     She made her points by implying that everyone wants straight hair. Rachel talked about her black friend from college who felt the need to straighten her hair all the time. "I'm so glad there are movements in the media for black girls to go 'natural.'" In my opinion, I felt like Rachel was saying, "I'm glad black girls' natural hair is finally approved by the Caucasian-dominated society. That means my black friend can finally feel good about herself." Not all minorities need sympathy from Caucasians. I do not need approval from the majority.

  And she said this as if straight hair were a solely Caucasian feature….

    And, "You know,”  Rachel continued, “Asians want to look 'white'. They use whitening creams—"

    To that, I replied, "No. Asians do not want to look white. They want to look pale. It has historic roots: wealthy Asians were pale because they did not have to work in the fields. Pale skin was a symbol of social status."

     And, come on, white friend. How many Caucasian people think they're too pale and go tanning?

     CNN Health spinned an article entitled, Asia's ideal beauty: Looking Caucasian. "Asians generally have wider and flatter noses. Asian rhinoplasty narrows the nose and makes it project more, similar to a European look. Asian blepharoplasty creates an extra fold in the upper eyelid. While present in nearly all Caucasians, this extra fold occurs naturally in only 15% of East Asians,” the article stated.

     In response to this, I say that the Western beauty industry needs to get over itself. Asia's nose beauty standard is based on Asians who do have narrower noses. "What?" you ask. "Why would a beauty standard arise from a feature only the minority has?" Think about how straight hair is coveted in Western culture. Not all Westerners have straight hair; the majority do not.

     In addition, how many Caucasians get plastic surgery? Though this number is less than that in Asia, I attribute this to the fact that cosmetic surgery has a greater negative stigma in America than Korea, where Korean popstars rave about the plastic surgery trend. Nevertheless, no one would write an article about how Caucasians are trying to look like a different ethnicity when they get "work" done. "When a white person does something to make herself look prettier, it's to enhance her beauty. If an Asian person does something to make herself look prettier, it is automatically because they are trying to look white," proclaimed a Korean Youtuber, KASPER, in her video THE RANT: ASIANS WANT TO BE WHITE? Whites are seen as insecure with their looks while Asians are deemed insecure with their race.

       
The media says we're inadequte

     Regardless of this double-standard, it is obvious that the media does a great job of making everyone feel inadequate. 

Video by the Illusionists on Advertising

Regardless of race, the media shames other aspects of a woman. If you're not white, you could be shamed for being "fat."  If you're white and thin, you could be shamed for having curly hair. Even if you're white, thin, and beautiful on society's standards, you could still have low esteem because every day the media bombards girls (and guys, but I'm focusing on girls right now) with images of idealized beauty.

You're not 'white' enough.

You're not tall enough, thin enough, fit enough.

Your nose is too big, your lips are too small, your eyes are too narrow, your hips are too wide.

   And the horrible thing is that many people buy into the "You're not good enough" message the media sends, and many girls are so heavily influenced by the ideals of beauty perpetuated by magazines and television that they fail to acknowledge the fact that the majority of media is portrayed through one perspective.

   What many deem “society’s perspective” isn’t representative of the society as a whole. It is the perspective of the "white, middle-aged, man."

   This is the tiny aspect of society what many women trying to please. You're trying to fit into an often misogynistic vision and mold. White, middle-aged men are the main media-runners. They craft media through similar perspectives, their ideal films and commercials unfailingly starring straight, white, protagonists.

   “Society’s perspective” is also mainly just the "rich corporation who makes you feel so horrible about yourself that you'll have to buy their 'miracle product'" lens.

   

   So many advertisements sport impeccably gorgeous models showcasing products. These photos and commercials imply, "If I buy this, I'll look like that."

    But the thing is, you'll never look like that.

If you want to know how absurdly unattainable these standards are, media producers aim to "prettify" even the greatest winners of the genetic lottery.

    Models do not even look like that. As the model and Ted Talk guest, Cameron Russell, states in her video (linked), "Looks aren't everything. Believe me, I'm a model." The trillion dollar beauty industry obviously has enough money to photoshop the crap out of every picture they put out there so regular girls strive for humanly unattainable standards.

    As much as many people buy into the world of beauty, from the scope of mainstream media, beauty is a shallow, narrow-minded, and impossible mold. It’s definition is biased toward the white and privileged, and it takes advantage our every insecurity.


Media says, so we must do

Walking around the theater, Rachel ranted at movie posters, declaiming the race of each actor and actress: "White, white, white, white, fucking EXODUS and the actors are white, white, white, white, white."

      Around the mall, she spotted images of Victoria Secret models. “White, white, oh look, white!”'

 "Young girls look at these white models— that's all they see,” she said.

   How are they supposed to see anything else?

While I advocate for the diversification in media's representations of society, I believe that it is possible to see the world through one's own eyes, not just the lens of North-American media. I do not need the majority to tell me what is or is not beautiful.

     Nevertheless, Rachel is valid in stating that in Western media, "There are basically no non-white role models." So... who are Asians supposed to look up to. Basically, she implied, without the help of the media, how do Asians know they are beautiful?

     In response to Rachel's statement regarding how I can find role-models in a white-washed world, I can only reply that the world is not white-washed.

     I watch beauty videos on YouTube, and a great number of this community is dominated by Asians and Asian Americans. There are a plethora of beauty/style gurus, and its refreshing to watch girls who know how to dress for petite bodies, how to apply makeup to Asian eyes, and who promote diverse beauty. And WongFu productions is what American media would look like if it were dominated by Asians (see film above).

However, we are still the minority. Where do I, as an Asian-American, attain my self-worth and the knowledge that I am beautiful?   
The voices of my friends, family, and myself are stronger than the voices on the screen or the pictures on Tumblr. When someone compliments me on the most random thing, I learn to appreciate myself a little more. My friend Tiffany told me a few weeks ago that she liked my teeth. I've gotten compliments on my lips, hair, nose, skin tone, etc. Sometimes, an aspect you do not like about yourself is a feature someone else desires.

   

I'm nineteen, and it's taken me up through high school to accept the way I look. Of course, I've had months where I'd crash diet or periods where I'd covet the look of someone who was completely different. I went through that adolescent stage of hating everything and wishing I looked different-- more mainstream, taller, more freckly. The world knows how much crap I got in elementary school for having a flat nose. It took years to realize that I could not please everyone. Beauty is subjective.

  I look at my family and friends, the people around me, and girls online. I can appreciate what the media does not: diversity. To me, beauty is more than perfect hair or skin. Beauty is the way a girl holds herself, her outward confidence. Beauty is seen in kind thoughts and actions. Beauty is when a woman is confident in her own skin. Maybe not totally confident, but on the road to self-acceptance.

And would I really want to be accepted by someone who did so solely on the basis of my aesthetic appearance? I'm not completely shallow, so the answer that question is a great, resounding: NO.

Overall, it's up to me if I want to accept the way I look and be happy or hate the tiniest things and be miserable. I choose the former.