I kinda miss having a girlfriend. I’ve only had one even though I’m seventeen, but I guess that’s just because I’m really awkward. Her name was Emily. We dated last year for like, 3 months, and back then, I thought I was totally in love with her. She had this really pretty brown curly hair and the cutest smile on top of being ridiculously hot. We didn’t have anything in common though besides English class and the fact that we liked making out with each other. We never talked much either. Well, I didn’t at least. She’d complain about something like her makeup or hair or her mom, but that was as far as conversations went since she’d never listen to what I had to say. And she’d always make her carry her crap! How much stuff does a girl need to carry around with her all the time? I mean, I understand having a backpack, but she had a tote for dance stuff and another full of mascara and a whole other bag in case the apocalypse happened or I don’t know; I just know I had to carry it all. The worst thing was that she kept me from hanging out with my friends. We’d always eat lunch with her group— three shallow girls who were hot but thought they were fat, called me “Em’s beau” or “Emmy’s boy-toy,” and couldn’t speak without saying “like” in between every word. When I finally dumped Emily, she admitted that she’d only dated me because she thought I was cute and hated being single.
So, I guess I don’t really know what love is. All Em and I had was lust or something, but there’s this one girl in my physics class. Her name’s Alice, and I think might I really like her. She’s just as pretty as Em, but it’s like she doesn’t even try. Emily always had her eyes painted on and powder all over her face, but I don’t think Alice wears any of that stuff because you can see her freckles. I try to talk to her in physics class sometimes. She usually sits in front of me with her friend, but right now, she’s sitting by herself.
Maybe I should work up the nerve to talk to her or even sit by her today? Nah.. she wouldn’t want to sit with me. We’ve talked a few times, like, I try to ask her for help on problems because I kind of suck at physics, but never about anything non-school related. Okay. Maybe I’ll do it ‘cause... #yolo. Wow I’m stupid... I’m such a wimp, too. No. I’m not gonna wimp-out this time! I’m gonna do it.
“Hey Alice,” I say to her back. She turns around. Damn, she’s hot. She has the cutest smile. Oh my god, she’s talking to me. Shit! I don’t know what she just said. Ahhh.. “Um, sorry. I didn’t catch that.” God, I’m an idiot.
She laughs, and it’s adorable. “Do you wanna sit with me today? My friend ditched me for the flu.”
HELL YEAH. “Yeah,” I reply. I try to stay smooth even though I’m as excited as Harry Potter was when he realized he’d caught the golden snitch during his first Quidditch match. “That’ll be cool.”
“What about me?” Oh crap. I forgot Tyler existed which kinda makes me a douche because he’s one of my best friends. When I turn my head to the right to face him, he’s looking at me with an expression that screams ‘Don’t leave me! Sydney will end up sitting next to me, and she’s hella weird! She only talks about conspiracy theories and-’
“Uh...” I say. I glance towards Alice and then back at Tyler, giving him a look that I hope looks like ‘Dude, you know how much I like this girl, and I’ll totally buy you Chipotle tomorrow or something.’
He nods like he understands, and I think his look means, ‘I know, bro. Get some.’ He winks. Yep. I was right, and I’m pretty sure Alice didn’t see him wink— thank God. She’s facing the whiteboard now. “Tyler’ll be alright.” I take my stuff over to the seat beside Alice’s.
I’m so happy I decided to wear this shirt today. I’m wearing my favorite bro-tank. It shows off my biceps. I look over to see what Alice is wearing, and it’s purple top and white shorts. She looks like “whoa.” I think girls look so hot when they wear white shorts. Mr. Holm is teaching about collisions, and I try not to think about how much I want to collide with Alice in my bed. She takes notes with glitter gel pens— she has a plethora of colors in her pencil case. I have a lot of pens too, but not glitter ones. My backpack’s front pocket mostly has a lot of highlighters because I think using highlighters is fun, and they help me focus when I study. I’m looking up at the diagram Holmie’s drawing on the board when I notice Alice doodling something on my paper. It’s a blue penguin in glitter pen. When she finishes, I pick up my favorite pen, my purple one, and start drawing a cat on the bottom right corner of her paper.
“That’s really good,” she tells me.
I smile and say, “Thanks.” I love to draw. I mostly draw comics based primarily off of memories— like of my friends and I when we go on adventures or do stupid stuff— or fantasy, like, dragons and sci-fi characters. I’m really into stuff like Lord of the Rings and Doctor Who. Oh! And Harry Potter. She draws a pink flower. I retaliate with a comic-style Harry riding a broomstick. “Can I borrow this?” I motion to the yellow glitter pen. Alice nods. She’s smiling, so I think she gets my reference.
“The golden snitch!” she exclaims when I add wings to the small yellow circle. I laugh.
“Yeah,” I say. “You like Harry Potter?”
“Pshhh. Like anyone wouldn't like Harry Potter!” She waves her pencil in her hand as if she’s casting a spell. “Wingardium leviosa!” She looks at me and laughs. I laugh, too. So, this is what love feels like.
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